Basics about me: I'm a wife to my amazing husband, Adam, and a mom to my beautiful 16 month old "baby" girl, Lily.
To start off, I thought I'd share my own birth story. I wrote this when Lily was only a couple months old but I think sharing my experience will be a good place to start my blog so here goes..
I thought I would share a little background about myself before I jump into my story. I'm a military wife. My husband and I were stationed at Marine Corps. Base Hawaii when I gave birth to our little angel in April 2011. Because we were so far away as a military family, it was just the two of us for the birth. Especially now and looking back, I feel so blessed to have had it so private and intimate. I gave birth at Tripler Army Medical Center, and although military hospitals generally have an awful reputation, I personally had an amazing experience. The hospital had a midwife program for low risk mamas and I opted for a midwife the first chance I got and after a terrible first experience with one of their OBGYN's. I could not have had a better hospital birth thanks to the wonderful midwives. And here is my story...
I suffered pre labor contractions for a week before I finally went into active labor. I became extremely impatient, frustrated and increasingly dissapointed when it wasn't the real thing.
The day before I went into labor, I went in for my 38 week appointment and I told the midwife who saw me about my contractions so I allowed her to check my cervix which was 3 cm dialated and if I remember correctly about 75% effaced. She then told me she expected me to go into labor within the next 24 hours.
The next day on a beautiful Saturday morning, I woke up to my husband's alarm clock. I had no idea why he set an alarm for 6 am on a Saturday morning (later he explained to me he just "had a feeling"). I rolled over to ask him why and.. my water broke. HUGE gush. I told him I thought my water had just broken and...another huge gush. Definitely broken. I began to get so many butterflies in my stomach and couldn't believe after all my frustration and disappointment in the last week, it was FINALLY happening and I was about to experience what I'd been preparing for so long for. Most importantly, I would soon meet my precious baby girl.
I then found the business card with my midwives pager number and gave them a call. When she called me back and asked if I had felt the baby move since my water broke, I told her "no" so she suggested to get to the hospital as soon as possible just to be safe. I honestly may have felt her move and had just been to exited to notice.
So we got our things together and got on the road. The contractions at home and the entire way to the hospital were very tolerable. Not much more than what I'd been experiencing the week prior. It was a half an hour or so drive, no traffic and a beautiful and sunny day (like most days on the island). My husband and I were so giddy the whole way there with excitement; singing, laughing, and sharing our feelings about what was to come that day.
We arrived to the hospital and the labor and delivery seemed to be a ghost town. It was very quiet and it didn't seem as though they had many patients to attend to that morning. They took me to a small room in triage and checked to make sure my water had indeed broken, asked me some basic questions, did some fetal monitoring for about 30 minutes and all was well with Lily.
My midwife, Rosemary, then read a copy of my birth plan. She saw that I was planning a completely natural birth and said "Ok those are pretty common requests." The whole time I got the feeling she didn't have much faith in me because she "heard it all the time."
She discoverd I had regressed a little to 2 cm and a little less thinned for some reason but she admitted me anyway since my water had broken. I got in my gown and they wheeled me to my delivery room where I met my nurses who were Godsends through my entire labor. I was still feeling fine at this point, smiling and answering all their questions with no problem. Once they checked my blood pressure and set in my heplock. I didn't allow the IV to be attached and they were perfectly fine with that as long as I stayed hydrated. They allowed me to walk around and do what I needed to be comfortable (anything but getting in the jacuzzi because it could have regress my labor by relaxing me too much.) So my husband and I went for a stroll around the hallways in l&d. My contractions were getting a little stronger and I couldn't walk through them anymore.
We went back to the room and my midwife asked if I had taken any lamaze or bradley classes or anything similar to cope through the labor. I hesitated for a moment to tell her "no" because I felt like she'd really have low faith in me then and assume that I wasn't prepared.
After that, I got on the birthing ball which was my the most relief I had during labor. The nurse continued fetal monitoring every hour for 20 minutes which was extremely annoying but she at least let me stay on the ball, which made it more bearable. After a few hours of that my midwife asked her why she was checking me so much, that I didn't need to be checked that often. I couldn't believe what I had just heard and that it took so long for someone to notice. I didn't know enough then to think to say something myself to the nurse and she did try to make me as comfortable as possible during the process.
As I mentioned before, my husband is a Marine so he was my only support person. He went down to the car to get our bags and while he was gone I talked to my mom on the phone while breathing through contractions on the ball. Later, I finally got permission to get in the jacuzzi which I was really looking forward to but unfortunately it didn't help me as much as I expected. It relaxed me between contractions because at this point I was utterly exhasted, but during the contractions it was almost as bad as laying on my back in the bed. While I was in the jacuzzi I came to a rock and a hard place. I told my husband "I can't do this" He encouraged me and told me I could do it and to remember that I didn't want any pain medication. I told him "I don't want an epidural I just want to die." I realize this statement seems dramatic but I think most, if not all women get to this point during labor. I had mentally prepared my self so well for a natural birth that the epidural was not even a thought in my mind, although that's what my husband thought I was referring to. I was just in so much pain and so tired I didn't know how I could carry on. But of course I did, one contraction at a time I got through it. One thing I had to remember is that it wouldn't last forever.
Eventually, I decided to get out of the jacuzzi and try something else for relief and shortly after I started going into transition, the most painful and intense part of labor. The contractions were increasingly difficult to breath through at this point and my back labor was excruciatingly painful. My nurses and husband were massaging my back, which I wouldn't have survived without, during my contractions. If they weren't already massaging I would grab the nearest hand I could find and press it as hard as I could into my lower back because it was the only thing that helped whatsoever. The contractions became so long and close together I had no break in between. The nurses were trying to take my blood pressure and were waiting until a contraction would end to check it but right as one started fading away, another would pick back up. I was feeling helpless and honestly terrified of the pain every time a contraction would pick up. The pain would start in my lower back and wrap itself around my body, tightening more and more until I felt like I would burst. I think if I had the strength to I would have cried.
At that point, I started feeling an urge to push which was truly unbearable at that point. Since I had the urge they checked my cervix which to my dissapointment was only 6cm! My husband told me "You're so close, you're almost there" but in my mindset I felt like it would never be over and couldn't understand why he would say that.
The nurses and my husband helped me get into different positions that might help ease the pain but nothing gave me relief anymore and the urge to push was getting stronger, my body literally forced me to push. There soon came a point when I couldn't change positions anymore because my contractions paralyzed me they were so strong. For a long time, I was stuck with one leg standing on the ground and one leg on the bed because while trying to climb in it, I was unable to move through back to back contractions. At this point I also ripped off my hospital gown because it continued to fall off my shoulder and the feeling of it hanging on me was extremely annoying and uncomfortable. I didn't have a care in the world who saw me naked and it was truly the last thing on my mind at the time. When I would get a short break between contractions, I hurried into a postion I was trying to get to before a contraction would start and leave me stuck.
As I was getting onto my side in the bed, my midwife noticed I was crowning, picked up my leg (I was still on my side which was the best position for me at the time and I couldn't even move if I wanted to) and she told me to just do what my body was telling me to do. So I pushed through the pain, exactly like they say, and after being exhasted through the labor I got a huge adrenaline rush while I was pushing. I pushed with all my strength. I even got mad when my contraction would fade away because I just wanted to keep pushing so it would be over. While pushing, I told my husband "I'm doing this, I'm actually going to do it." The reality of it all was just starting to hit me.
In about 5 contractions of screaming and squeezing my hubby's hand (poor guy, he said he almost cried he felt so bad that he couldn't help me) I delivered a perfect little baby. Lily Elizabeth. 6 lbs 3 oz 18 inches long. When she was finally out, the most euphoric feeling overwhelmed me. There was suddenly no more pain, and the room was completely still and quiet. I looked up and saw my midwife holding up my baby and she layed her on my chest. She came out with her hands by her face which tore me a little but I got two stitches and couldn't even feel it being done while I was on cloud nine holding my baby girl. It was the most empowering and beautiful experience of my life and I get teary eyed just thinking about it.
After I gave birth the nurses and my midwife were just in awe that I had actually done it. They kept saying how amazed by me they were and asked when I was going to start teaching a childbirth class at the hospital and saying "You were made for this!" They made me feel so good about myself but I did it for Lily and it was completely worth it. In fact I wish I could do it all again just to experience that moment of seeing and holding her for the first time all over again.
Lily latched on within minutes of her birth which was another new and beautiful feeling I can't find words to describe. She was so beautiful and perfect. My husband and I were both in tears as we met her. We were, and still are, simply in awe of her.
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